First day at work (Dilbert comic strip version)

When I first saw the Dilbert comic strip about a "typical" first day a work for a "typical" employee I laughed very hard, but I could not believe that it could possibly be a reality at any workplace!...

Yet this comic strip was stuck in my memory. I now managed to find it for your delight, it was published on 5 May 2005 and the story continued for a couple days thereafter.

In my previous postdoc the first day at work (that was exactly a year ago) was just like in the comic strip, with the difference that I had a computer, but there was no website where I could figure out what I was "supposed to be doing".

How is it going to be tomorrow?