I am considering to take a break from blogging for a while. A break for feeling depressed. A break to let me explore those feelings in some privacy (a side effect to depression is lack of judgement, for example about how much to blog about). A break to sort myself out.
At the moment everything is quite draining for me emotionally and for a while I have been unable to write some posts that I am carrying around and editing in my head, for example on little things that make me happy.
I have lost the ability to feel happy recently and I just cannot write this post. I am blocked. Therefore I feel that this blog is becoming quite one-sided: I am only able to write when I am quite upset (and the words just flow to my fingers) or angry (likewise).
I may still come back from time to time to tell you some stories when I am upset or angry, but do not expect to hear anything positive until I get my brain and my thinking sorted. Feel free to email me to check on my progress if you do not hear from me for a while.
Saturday, 20 June 2009
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We'll be waiting if you need to come back. Hope things start to look brighter soon!
ReplyDeletexx
Hugs... I hope you get a handle on this soon (i.e. find out where to get help in English) and start feeling better. I don't have any experience with clinical depression myself so I'm afraid I have no advice to give, other than that there are lots of other bloggers out there in our community who DO have that experience, and who have said that blogging about depression has helped them... something to think about maybe?
ReplyDeleteI hope to see you back soon
Sorry for the break in our contact, I have not been on-line for a week - it actually feels good!
ReplyDeleteI am very proud of your sucess with negotiating the "list of issues" !!!!
Dr L, don't be surprised if you start feeling even more down as conditions in the lab improve now. You are exhausted and your reason to fight is hopefully going to go away, unfortunately the fight was what kept you going for last few months.
Try to remember why you needed clean lab and all the other things, what is it for.
Try to find something that will make you feel better - do female Japanese's students/postdocs/English teachers do any sports there - can you try to join them? so you have a totally different social set-up there. No blokes, no lab issues etc.
xx
KChlorek
Look after yourself! And email if you want to rant to a person, not just a page - I can at least listen!
ReplyDeleteThank you all for good words, I am sure I will come back as soon as I am able to write more coherently without so much moaning!
ReplyDeleteKChlorek: There is no Japanese female postdocs here ;-) And very few postgrads (here the pipeline leaks at much earlier stage than in the West)... I do not know any female students, and my English Teaching friends go to gyms that are too far from my location. I started running instead, even though I would much more prefer gym classes or team sports!
Hi DrL,
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear that you will be taking a break from the blog. I enjoy reading your excellent posts. I will keep checking in case you return. Your friends make good suggestions and offer great support. I am impressed that you have taken up running (my sport). You mentioned that you prefer gym classes or team sports. Perhaps you should start an inter-lab rugby, american football or gaelic football league. It would be a great opportunity for you to beat the c**p out of some of the wimpy men from your lab... lol.
Look after yourself and take care. We look forward to your return. But be patient. Come back when you are ready.
Dubliner xxx
Good luck with the move and finishing up in that lab of your. I hope you feel better and maybe it will be better by not blogging for a while. Collect thoughts and all that.
ReplyDeleteExercise is a good thing for the adrenalin and the body when other things are stressed and packed in the head.
best of luck. And hope you are out of there soon.