For The Love of Science or ... Sleep?

I very much liked the take on the love of science that Mad Hatter has described in her recent post. At the moment there is a lot of discussion about the love of science and how much calling (if any) is necessary to be a (good) scientist.

Hypothesis: You don’t need to love science in order to be a good scientist.

While I agree that religious devotion to science is not necessary, and it is perfectly ok to treat it as a profession, nevertheless I believe it is often the case that many people who are scientists are in love with science. Even those bloggers, who try to say that love of science is not at all needed, give an overall impression that they deeply care about the science by getting engaged into discussion on different important issues.

I would dare to make a comparison between a relationship that a person has with Science to a marriage. In the undergraduate years it starts with infatuation, the “in-love” phase, the period of excitement of discovering new things during learning process. It is very much like the excitement of the dating phase in a relationship, when people are discovering each other and falling head over heels in love.

Later, during grad school the reality starts to kick in, the infatuated person starts to realize what sacrifices they need to make and that is it not going to be easy. Yet they are now engaged so they stick around. Some people become disengaged and break their commitment to Science. The requirements of this relationship are too much to live up to. People do not want to sacrifice their other relationships in life for the sake of this “one and only” relationship. Some people realise that for happiness one needs other relationships in life too.

Even though some people decide to leave and break the engagement, others choose to become married to Science - they become postdocs. This is a very strange marriage contract, because it is not permanent. You become married to Science on short-term, trial basis.

During the postdoctoral marriage the reality kicks in even stronger than in grad school. You become aware of all the flaws that there are in the system, and you need to decide: is your love strong enough that you can love Science no matter what, warts and all?

Science is trying you some more, whether you would make a good spouse and whether you are prepared for the commitments this marriage requires! Science is a very demanding partner. If you do not perform, you have to give up your dreams and hopes of living happily forever after.


Some postdocs are happy as newly-weds, some become very bitter and disillusioned. The marriage to Science turned out much less happy than what they expected during their in-love and engagement period. Some people want to divorce. Some people leave without a word. Some are kicked out. The beginnings of marriage are not easy.

Yet if you persist and work hard on your marriage you can become the chosen one. Science may grant you the permission to become “real married” to her, you may become faculty. This still may have a short-term nature to it at the beginning, and you may receive a point in time where your commitment would be checked again (tenure application). If you prove to be a worthy material for a spouse then you would be honoured with a permanent marriage contract.

But do not be deceived by simplicity of this process. After the wedding you become married, whether temporarily or not, and the reality of the wedded life is not as sweet as it may have seemed before the wedding. You need to be patient and you need to sacrifice and often your spouse Science is much less desirable partner than you have previously thought.

Some people go through the ups and downs of the beginning of the marriage contract, others find out that it is not for them and apply for divorce. Those who go through all of the trials may finally reach the phase of “happy forever after” and they and Science become a very happy family, with many Publication children.

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What to do when the love of science requires commitments that clash with other loves in our lives? For some people this may require sacrificing personal time that could be otherwise be used for hobbies or socialising, or even spending time with one’s family. There are so many parents who are scientists, and it is not only women who love their families, males can feel a need to spend time with their families too.

For me the love of science clashes with my very deep love for sleep. Whereas I do not have such an intricate, beautiful and delicate relationship with sleep as I have with science, it is still a very strong bond. In my relationship with sleep I am very dependent, I simply need is so much that I cannot live without it. And while I could live without my love of science, I would not be able to survive without the relationship I have with sleep.

The typical hours worked in Japan require people to make a choice, either they can work full time or they can have their relationship with sleep. What most salarymen here do is to try and reach a compromise. They tend to their relationship with work during the six days of the week, and then tend to their relationship with sleep on Sunday - usually they devote themselves to sleep all of that day. This does not leave time for any other relationships in a person’s life, so the relationships with family, hobbies and friends by default constitute very minor part of individual’s life.

In my workplace there is an assumption that we should be happily working the typical Japanese workplace hours. When Big Old Boss was very angry and was telling me off for having a “bad attitude” I have learned that he wants me to come to work at 8am every morning. While this is doable, I am not a morning person and I do not function very well in the mornings.

Most people here work till 7-8pm, on some days till 9pm or longer, and they come in for 9am. This is 11-12h on a regular day, but there are days that require longer hours and that is why my supervisor wanted me to live in walking distance from university. He did not want me to be dependent on the buses. The last bus leaves at 10pm so I assume that he would like me to work past that time on some days. Yet he wants me to come at 8am in the morning...

I understand that for the typical Japanese man there is no problem in working twelve-hour days on the regular basis, because when they get home the dinner is waiting on the table and the clothes for the next working day are washed and ironed. They can eat, shower and go to bed. When they get up, the breakfast is ready, often the packed lunch too, and they can jump into their car and go to work.

This punishing daily schedule is not for me however. I prefer a different one. After I get up I prepare breakfast myself, and then I need to wake up properly, so I spend a little time reading the news before I set of. On most mornings I do not want to leave home immediately if I do not have too, this maybe stems from my dislike for the place of my work.

When I come back home I would like to have at least two hours before I go to sleep. I would like to eat dinner and relax, listen to music, write emails to friends and read. Maybe exercise (I was not finding time or energy for exercise even with only ten-hours long days).

How could I sustain such lifestyle if I were to work twelve-hours days regularly? The two extra hours that I put in work would eat two hours from my sleep daily. I would have to function on 5-6h sleep per day and I find this unsustainable.

I love my sleep too much. Much more than I love science. Sorry science, I will have to break up with you, I am going back to my ex and I am going to spend the rest of my life with sleep!